I’m a lady, and like every normal lady my age I spend a lot of time thinking about the man I’ll spend the rest of my life with. To this cause, I’ve made some decisions based on my feelings and sometimes, I look back and I’m not exactly proud of them. I always plan to learn from the last mistake, but then my feelings overwhelm me and I go through the whole cycle again.
Last night, a friend broke the news of how his girlfriend broke up with him and I was broken-hearted too. But then the conversation got deeper and he made me see things from a different light. He made me ponder on some of the wrong decisions I have made.
I love being in relationships as much as I love my single status, many times I don’t know which I prefer. The attention of many guys, or the love, care and affection of one guy. I love having the good-looking ones especially, the ones that make my friends “ooh” and “ah” about their handsomeness and poise, while I proudly blush. I love having my phone ring and having my phone inbox get clogged with random messages as simple as “I miss you” to “Where are you?”.
I guess in more ways than one, I want what many girls want.
But after last night, I discovered that in a husband, its not just about what I want, its more importantly what I need.
Cliché right? Yeah, I thought so too. But its true. I want the hot, fine, christian brother, who is fun-loving too, and knows all the hot jams on the radio and all the happening places not just in the country but in the world. That one guy that will sweep me off my feet and murmur sweet words in my ear… MY PRINCE CHARMING!
But is that all there is to a “future partner”? The glitz and the glam will one day fade away. Ok, you all may say”bright future”, “good job” and so on. But what happens after the job ends? What happens when he comes home from work? What happens when the rubber hits the road? Its marriage we are talking about here, not dating or courtship! I am not planning to contribute to the percentage of broken homes and unhappy children. Neither am I planning to die before its my time, so that means FOREVER!!!
After evaluating all these mind-boggling thoughts, I decided to make a mental list of my needs. Funny enough, I’ve always had one, but when emotions get clouded, out goes the list and then after the initial heat has dampened, I start trying to check off the list and trust me, they never score enough points.
So down to it, what does my list comprise of?
1. A man that prays- There’s nothing that can replace a husband and father that prays. I want to be at business meetings and know that someone is on his knees interceding for me( maybe not literally, but he will be praying)
2. A man that worships in Spirit and in truth- A true believer. I want to be able to “tongue stroll” with my spouse and sing without worrying, and praise without offending
3. A man whose heart is after GOD- when all the money is in the bank, and all the cars are in the garage, and all the grandchildren are calling and life looks like it couldn’t be better, and regardless of all these, he can still fall on the ground and humble himself before God, that’s my man!
4. A man with an ear for God- Sometimes I listen to myself more than I should, and I end up biting my nails in the process. I guess that explains why this is necessary and he has to be firm enough to also rebuke me, not condemn me though
5. Purpose- IMPORTANT!!! I don’t want to get to a point in my life where we are both on crossroads about the next step… I want to share my happiness and dreams with him and be part of his too
6. Love- very important too, but having it alone is never enough.
7. Good looks- hey, I still care about that!
Someone once told me “you want perfect, right? Good luck finding that”. But don’t I deserve perfect, at least we all are striving towards perfection, aren’t we? And it takes a king to marry a queen, right? So what’s wrong in me looking for one of my kind?
Gen1: 23 And Adam said:
“This is now bone of my bones
And flesh of my flesh;
She shall be called Woman,
Because she was taken out of Man.”
I want one that is part of me, and I am part of him.
Oh well, all good things come to them that wait. I’ll wait and in perfect timing, I’ll get MY MAN. My Priest, My Prophet and My King. Till then, I’ll just make myself ready and build myself up to maturity for the perfect timing. “He makes all things beautiful in His time”. And if my dreams could be this big, I can’t comprehend what HE really is going to be like, after all “Now to Him Who, by (in consequence of) the [action of His] power that is at work within us, is able to [carry out His purpose and] do super abundantly, far over and above all that we [dare] ask or think [infinitely beyond our highest prayers, desires, thoughts, hopes, or dreams]” Eph3:20. *wink*