The Circle of Life

She is doing it again! Staring at a picture of herself way back when and lamenting about how slim she was and how she wishes she could be that size again.
But then she drops the picture and we’re back to the circle of life *insert Lion King theme song*.

After about 7months of procrastination, she finally decided to go and register in a gym. As a good friend, I went along to encourage her. It was the least I could do, since she always says,”Rolayo, I used to be as slim as you” and I honestly don’t have to do ANYTHING to stay this way.
Everything was going on well at the gym until the guy brought out the diet plan. I just couldn’t contain my laughter. Instead of sugar, she was going to start taking honey. In the place of her muffins and chocolate-chipped cookies, she had to fill her tummy with lots of vegetables. Her midnight treats also had to go out the window cause her last meal of the day had to be by 6pm. But my almost-hearty laugh was cut short by the side-eye the gym owner gave me and then he started his “You-can-do-it-just-think-of-the-end-result” talk that I’m sure he has used for all his customers. So I stifled my laugh and joined in the cheering.
As we were walking out of the gym, I was going to pat her back and start my speech about how I was going to be by her side every step of the way when I was cut short (again!), by a look that I recognised too well. “Let’s go to Ola Mummy”
I think I had a horrid look on my face cause we were just an earshot from the gym, and she kept talking about how it was her last treat before her diet. So like a pack of cards I fell , and I granted a poor girl her “last” wish. While I munched on my amala and two pieces of beef, I watched her down cow leg, goat meat and loads more. I just shook my head, and hoped for the best.
The next day was the beginning of the rest of our lives, more like her life though. We had discussed what she was going to do with all her dresses and which tailor was going to adjust the ones she still really liked. We had made plans to make plans.
True to her word,she started going to the gym. She returned with a tale of woes and lots of body pain. She wasn’t deterred though, the next day she was all set in her gym outfit and I couldn’t have been more proud.
I got used to hearing her stories, at least if that was the price I had to pay to see my friend in a size 10 dress again, then SO BE IT! But then, after a few days, barely a week, the tales stopped. A part of me assumed she was getting used to the rigour, but then the better part of me decided to ask the dreaded question:
“Are you still going to the gym?”
The answer I got was a mixture of ramblings, grumbling and some more incoherent talk. She stopped after a week and a half cause she couldn’t stand the pain. 😦
We(her friends) kept on trying to convince her to go back until 30days finally passed by. By the end of the month, she had gained all the weight she claimed she lost and even more. She treated herself with regular doses of shawarma and afang soup with swallows. I just told consoled myself with the thought that I’ll always have a cuddly friend for warm bear hugs… And she looks good this way.

This morning, she made an announcement,”Guess what guys! I’m going back to the gym”. Let’s hope it doesn’t take her another seven months before she finds her way there. Oh well, it’s just the Circle of Life.


7 Comments Add yours

  1. shutterbabedemi says:

    Looooool! The famous weight gain/loss story. Sounds like one of our mutual friends! Always disturbing me with ‘I’m fat’ stories. Before, I used to be all ‘no, ure not fat. Ure chubby and sexy’. Now. Mba. ‘madam, ure just a fat cow’. Lol. The annoying thing is I think she loves it now. She keeps talking about losing weight and weight-loss plans, and gyms et all, but I know its all format. After a week, 2 at the most, all’s back to normal.
    I only just realised how lucky I am to be this slim. Want to gain a little weight and start wearing a UK8 though…. I think the bottom line is if she’s healthy and happy with d way she looks cus omo, gym no easy o! I’m telling you! And hey, not everyone can look like us rollyoaks.

    1. Preach Sister! As in, that our mutual friend and all those her greasy english breakfasts, she isn’t going to lose a gram sef. Its not easy to be like us AT ALL

  2. omotooke says:

    Hmmmm, I’m smiling…. Cos I know who u r talking abt….

  3. omotooke says:

    She looks good dis way nice and d warm bear hugs… Oh well

  4. Tinuola says:

    Unbelievable! u guyz! The post was super funny even funnier when told by the “heroine” of the tale! but great work rolayo! keep it up!

  5. 47 says:

    Wish I’d read dis earlier,would av cheerd me up. Wonderful piece though,d unending cycle of ‘goin to lose weight’
    Way to go,ermm Rollyoaks. :d

  6. Jibola says:


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