So I haven’t written anything like this in a while, but I just had to share. What I want to talk about is something we hear about all the time, and I’m sure we preach about too -FORGIVENESS.
Yes, roll your eyes, yawn,but before you click that red button at the top of your screen, ask yourself the question “Am I REALLY a “forgiver”?” Before tonight, my answer would have been NO with no remorse. I guess I’ve gotten so used to this way of life, it doesn’t even bother me anymore. Then today in fellowship, my Pastor decided to nudge my heart and my conscience with this topic. I don’t know how many of you have had this experience when someone is talking about something and you feel like they are directing EVERY single word to you, then they look in your direction and your heart does a double(not the I-have-a-huge-crush-on-you kinda double but the how-does-he/she-know kinda double). Well I felt that way,and that inspired me to write this.
I have a HUGE problem with forgiving people who hurt me. I just don’t get why some people would do some things and not think about Karma and tomorrow and the fact that I would never do such a thing to them. So instead of dealing with them(no time) or telling them (not like they don’t know anyway), I just sulk, keep it in and sulk some more whenever I see them.
Sometimes, I forgive over and over again, and although I don’t have a maximum number of times, I just stop and build a wall around me. I’m not proud of the person I have become,and a good friend of mine has been trying to make me see the other side of the coin. Guess God decided to try another route, and it worked! Yes Father GOD, You got my attention this time.
Permit me to share a few scriptures with you.Matthew 18 vs. 13-33 tells us about the servant who owed his Lord a huge sum of money, and got forgiven and then went out and met another servant who was owing him one-tenth and he threw his fellow-servant in jail. Wicked guy, right? I used to be that person, and I am sure some of us have also found ourselves in similar situations. It’s hard forgiving people who hurt us, BUT it’s not impossible. If it were, we wouldn’t be asked to forgive.
Something else caught my attention, Mark 11 vs. 23-25 says if I don’t forgive, my prayers won’t be answered. Now that’s a stopper, cause my prayers are not gonna hang cause someone somewhere stepped on my toes and that person is out there living the life and I’m here.. NO WAY!
So here’s what I have decided to do,
1. I’ll be the better person. This is going to be really hard, it’ll require me swallowing a lot of my pride, and also making myself vulnerable to hurt again. But it’s worth it. For all I know, they don’t even know I am upset with them, they may not even remember hurting me.
2. For those people who keep annoying me and hurting me, *closing eyes tightly* I’ll pray for them. this is even harder than forgiving them, but I’ll do it. what’s the worst that could happen?Prayers don’t hurt anybody.
3. I’ll also make the best of every situation, and I’ll build character. *rubbing chin* Sounds good already.
Now, I didn’t say it would be easy, nothing really is, but I’ll take that huge step of faith, and I’ll be glad I did.
Beginning of this year, I made a list of the things that I wanted to change about myself. Top of my list was “my unforgiving spirit”. It took me this long and a lot of courage to get to this point, you could start your’s now.
If you can be forgiven,then you can forgive. There’s that awesome feeling when you do, like a huge rock has been removed from your chest, like you can actually breathe again. Maybe it’s just me. Maybe it’s not just me. Maybe this was meant for you to read so you could let go of that grudge and end that 6-month malice. But whatever you chose, I trust you’ll make the best decision.
With that, I close and I am proud to say I am MOROLAYO WILLIAMS, I have been Forgiven and I am a FORGIVER.