Memoirs of an Undergraduate III: Life in Pre-Clinicals Past II

This is it,
This is the year that determines a lot in my life
It’s the year I write the exam that decides how many years I spend in the university
It is determined by faith and determines my fate
It’s the year of MB Part 1
I’ve been told about this exam ever since I set foot into the College of Medicine
It’s the most hyped examination in my school
All everybody asks is,”How preps for MB?”
The pressure from without almost surpasses the pressure from within
It’s hard enough that I’m scared, but having all this attention just makes it worse

Classes are still holding,teaching more and more stuff
Neuroanatomy has been included
Like I don’t have enough to worry about already
It’s like my brain has become a sieve
Separating the unnecessary from the necessary
Until I see a past question, and the unnecessary shows up in like five different forms
That thick black cloud of gloom clouds my vision again

I see my junior colleagues all excited, studying like crazy
Crowding up the reading rooms leaving me to sit on stools while they take the comfortable chairs
I want to smack them at the back of their heads and say
“Relax,when you get to where I am now, you’ll remember little or nothing of all this”
But I can’t, cause I envy them
They read at their own pace
For a test that will probably get cancelled on the morning it’s supposed to hold
Maybe if I had been more studious,
Maybe I would be less jittery now
Maybe, just maybe…

Tests every week, sometimes four a week
Tests that cover a whole semester’s work and even a whole year’s
Some I haven’t opened before
Even the ones I have, I am not so confident
My mind is weak and my body fails me
This stress is overwhelming
I’m reading every step of the way
I go to the cafeteria with a note, and enter cabs with some material
Every minute counts like my life depends on it

Test results are out and they don’t even matter
They do no justice to my late nights and even my staying over in mosquito-infested lecture theatres
It’s hard not to be dismayed
But this isn’t the time to wallow in self-pity, this is the cross I chose to bear
I have to keep the faith alive
After all, many, my own father including, have walked through this valley
And have made it through
Like we always say
“A cloud of witnesses have gone ahead of us”

MB Part 1 timetable is out!
The dreaded exam is now more real than ever
My reading pattern, which has succeeded in distorting my days and nights, gets more intense
Exam welfare packages are arriving from left, right and yonder
I can’t disappoint these people
I must not disappoint myself

Anatomy was insane
Biochemistry left me with mixed feelings
Physiology… I just did what I knew best
After every paper, a song of praise escaped my lips
I stare at my huge pile of books which cost thousands each
Their purpose has been served
Some things I know like the back of my hand
Somethings I never read and I may never again

My legs are shaking and I’m all jittery
The first time in all my days in this school that I’m dressed formally to class
And one of the few times in Pre-Clinicals, that I wore a skirt (if not the only!)
After the long wait,
I am summoned
Favour works on my behalf in both Physiology and Anatomy
When I hear what my colleagues were asked
My mouth opens up in praise again

The exams are finally over
You’ll expect me to heave a huge sigh of relief
Instead, the tension builds up
This is the period I dread most
On May 17th, the tension is so thick, I feel like I’m walking through it’s fog
Food doesn’t go down well
I’m fiddling with my nails
Talking randomly
Anything to get my mind off the worst
A close friend told me
“You don’t have faith, you don’t practice what you preach”
Maybe he was right,
But you can’t blame me for being anxious
This was almost a life or death affair

After what felt like eternity, the WAIT was finally over
I walked over to the already crowded board
At first, I didn’t see ME
Then I discovered that there were two lists
And then I saw it…
Underneath my breath and deep in my heart, I muttered a silent thank you
To the one who saw me through my days in Pre-Clinicals
And did not put me to shame
The one who had faith in me when I totally lost it
And the one who always causes me to triumph…
My mobile phone rings and it’s my Mum
While she sings her songs of praise
I just hold back tears and say to myself
“HUPERNIKAO is what I am in Christ Jesus”


2 Comments Add yours

  1. Goke says:

    I practically re-lived the experiences as I read through the trilogy…makes me chuckle to think how ‘what’s most important’ has changed over the years.seems even Everest’s not that big a deal once you’ve ascended it.
    gr8 work Rolayo…my interest in how it wud end was as if it wr fiction…awaiting part IV

  2. oyinda says:

    Medical schl is d same ☺ everywhere…*whew*

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